Rules Without Relationship?
How Legalism Distorts the Gospel and What Jesus Really Came to Offer
Why does the church seem to care more about rules than about people?
Introduction
Many people who leave the church do not do so because they reject Jesus—but because they encountered a community that seemed more interested in enforcing rules than extending grace. For them, the church did not feel like a refuge for the weary but a tribunal for the morally acceptable. The Christian message that should have sounded like freedom instead felt like restriction. This experience is not new. The tension between legalism and grace runs through the pages of Scripture, and Jesus Himself reserved some of His strongest rebukes for those who turned religion into a system of control. To address this issue, we must revisit what the Bible teaches about holiness, grace, and transformation—and how the church is meant to reflect the heart of Christ.
Jesus’ Confrontation with Rule-Based Religion
The Gospels make clear that Jesus was not hostile to God’s law—but He fiercely opposed the distortion of it. In Matthew 23, Jesus issues a series of woes to the Pharisees, accusing them of placing unbearable burdens on people’s backs while refusing to lift a finger to help (Matt. 23:4). He describes them as those who “clean the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence” (Matt. 23:25). The Pharisees had turned God’s good commands into a mechanism for self-righteousness and exclusion. In contrast, Jesus models a way of truth that is inseparable from love. When religious leaders bring a woman caught in adultery before Him (John 8:1–11), He neither condones her sin nor condemns her person. He protects her from public shame and invites her into a life of repentance. The pattern is always the same: grace first, then transformation.
The Purpose of God’s Commands: Liberation, Not Legalism
Scripture affirms that God’s commands are good, holy, and beneficial (Rom. 7:12). Far from being arbitrary, they reflect God’s moral character and design for human flourishing. Psalm 19:7 declares, “The law of the Lord is perfect, reviving the soul.” However, problems arise when obedience becomes the basis of acceptance rather than the fruit of it. Legalism is not an overcommitment to holiness—it is the belief that our performance earns God’s favor. Paul dismantles this thinking in Galatians 2:16: “A person is not justified by the works of the law but through faith in Jesus Christ.” The law reveals our need for grace, but it cannot save. As Martin Luther wrote, “The law is a mirror to show us our sin, but it is the gospel that brings us to life.” Christian discipleship, then, involves obeying God not to be loved, but because we already are.
When Churches Weaponize Rules
Tragically, many churches have substituted the gospel of grace for a culture of conformity. Whether it manifests as moralism, political gatekeeping, or social exclusivity, the message becomes clear: to belong, you must behave. This inversion of the gospel is spiritually devastating. It causes the hurting to hide, the doubting to remain silent, and the struggling to walk away. Dietrich Bonhoeffer warned against this in The Cost of Discipleship, insisting that grace must never be cheapened—but also that it must never be withheld. The older brother in Jesus’ parable of the prodigal son (Luke 15:11–32) illustrates this dynamic. He follows the rules, stays near the father, yet resents the celebration of mercy. In doing so, he reveals a heart just as lost as his rebellious brother’s. Both sons needed grace. So do we.
Jesus Prioritized the Marginalized, Not the Morally Elite
The ministry of Jesus is marked by His pursuit of those the religious establishment often ignored. He touched lepers (Matt. 8:3), dined with tax collectors (Luke 5:29–32), and welcomed sinners (Luke 15:2). His harshest criticisms were reserved not for the immoral but for the self-righteous. In Luke 18:9–14, Jesus contrasts a boastful Pharisee with a penitent tax collector. It is the latter, not the former, who is justified before God. This pattern continues throughout His ministry. Jesus never lowers the standard of holiness, but He never weaponizes it either. His call is always the same: “Come to Me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest” (Matt. 11:28). The rest He offers is not the absence of discipline, but the freedom of being fully known and fully loved.
Pastoral Responses to Legalism and Church Hurt
For those who have been wounded by rule-based religion, the invitation of Jesus remains: come as you are. Your value is not based on conformity but on the cross. The first step toward healing is distinguishing between the church’s failures and Christ’s character. The next step is finding a community that reflects the gospel in word and deed—a place where repentance is modeled, grace is practiced, and holiness is pursued in humility. For those within the church, the call is to self-examination. Are we making it harder for people to come to Jesus by imposing cultural norms or personal preferences as prerequisites for belonging? Are we offering grace or guilt trips? True transformation flows from relationship, not regulation. When we extend to others the same mercy we’ve received, we reflect the heart of Christ more clearly.
Conclusion
The goal of the Christian life is not rule-keeping but Christlikeness. Rules have their place, but they must always serve the greater purpose of love and holiness. Jesus did not die to make us religious. He died to make us free—free from sin, free from shame, and free to live in joyful obedience. If the church is to embody His message, it must remember: grace is not the reward for the obedient. It is the power that makes obedience possible. Only then will the church become a place where sinners are not shamed, but saved—and saints are not performers, but pilgrims on the road to glory.